I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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