is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I booty called her while she was in labor.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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