I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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