so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
