You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
