After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
