I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
