Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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