it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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