Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
