ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
