Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
