Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize