We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
