She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
