we're blogging at a bar
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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