and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize