i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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