even my farts smell like vagina
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
