how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
