Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
