Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
