Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
