I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
