I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She's the barista slut.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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