he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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