i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
