one two three fourrrrnication!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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