How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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