Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
