Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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