she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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