Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
