I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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