Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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