After last night, I could never be a politician.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
