i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
This house was built for laser tag.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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