I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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