somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Holy sore nipples Batman
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
