I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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