Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
