Your mouth is God's brothel.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
