she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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