i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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