I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
worst night to have a conscience
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
