My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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