thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
