one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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