You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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