I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
