hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
