I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
