come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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