She said her name was "party"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize