Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize