But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
