"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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