Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Houston, we have a squirter
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
