areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
