Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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