She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
birth control should be required to get into college
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
