Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
