my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
