I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
