dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
