We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
