i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
