what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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