I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
